Perfectly Imperfect What That Means To Me

I have seen the quote "Perfectly Imperfect" everywhere for years and I've always disagreed with it. I still disagree with the meaning most people attach to it. When most people use the quote or term, it is to say "Accept me for all my flaws because I'm not changing." I think we should always be growing and always striving to be better people so of course, I didn't agree.  Well, today I actually found myself giving a new meaning to the term "Perfectly Imperfect".

I'm a perfectionist to a fault. I have an idea of the perfect woman, business woman, mom, and wife. And for years I've felt likeI need to become this perfect woman who doesn't even exist, she isn't real; I made her up. She can't be real because, all of us have imperfections and bad days.

As a mom, I swear some days I think I'm damaging my children. Why can't I be the patient, loving, early rising mom who has a super clean house? That mom does not exist! (If she does, I don't want to meet her, ever.)

All moms lose their patience, all moms break down and all moms think we're doing it totally wrong. The secret though? It's that we keep going. We wake up the next day and try again to have patience, to practice yelling a little less, to give more hugs and try not to put ourselves in time out. We keep the goal in sight to be the best mom ever.

Being a business owner has challenged me in so many ways. I have never had to walk through so many brick walls before in my life.

Show an ad to 1000 people and get 1 sale!? I have got to be the ONLY business owner who does this. I am the only one having a slow Month week. Who doesn't know how to write an ad? Seriously, I'm the only one. I should be matching my husbands salary by now! 

Yes, I tell myself those crazy things. Truth is, I'm never the only one. Every other small home based business has been through or is going through what I'm going through at any given moment.

No one is perfect or has a perfect little life. And that is okay. A-OK.

The key. The key is to keep setting goals, keep sending emails, keep posting pictures, keep telling my story, keep going in the direction of my goals and I will get there. It doesn't have to be prefect, it just needs to get done. Done gets you closer to achieving your goals.

There is no perfect time to do something later, the prefect time is now. I know we hear that all the time and it's because it is true. There is always something we can be doing to get closer to our goals. Don't use not being perfect as an excuse to not go after what you want. Just take the hot mess that you are and do it anyway. Well, that's what I tell myself... I assume it's working because my children are all alive, I'm still married and I still have a business. Oh and my sanity, I still have that too.

This is what being Perfectly Imperfect means to me.

Do you ever feel too imperfect to do something? What do you do?

Making Yourself A Priority

One of the main things mothers face is making time to for themselves and, how to make themselves a priority. I've struggled with this for years and still do at times. I wanted to be that great mom that put her children before all else and could brag and say I gave them more than I gave myself. I tried that for a little while and it sucks.

I was looking a mess because I'd spent my money on my children (stuff they didn't need) and 1. No one found it honorable. No holy round of applause was heard at the cash register. 2. My children (you can put spouse here if it fits) still managed to ask me for something else .03 seconds later. (Children will suck you dry of every single drop of sanity, if you let them. Family & friends will too!) Basically, I got screwed over by MYSELF.

If you're the mom that says "Oh I hardly ever shop or myself." Stop doing that.

• Oh the guilt. I learned (still learning) that you have to put yourself first and STOP feeling guilty about it. Why is it some evil thing for moms to feel great about themselves? Moms are weird. 

I had a friend, who whenever I would talk about shopping for clothes, shoes, polish, whatever, the first thing out of her mouth would be "Oh, I want such and such but, I'd rather spend on the children." Are we seriously having this discussion over $2 nail polish? Us women, we're crazy.

• It's about balance. You need to take time for yourself and not worry about ANYONE else. 

Want to exercise? Don't say you don't have time, make the time. Tell somebody NO. I can't do this for you because I is important. I is special. 

I wanted to be able to feel like I was a great mom and tell everyone about it. Well I was left feeling stupid. Especially, when another mom told me how she takes care of herself. She had balance. She was able to do what she needed for herself and take care of her children and home. How can I be a great mom if I'm tired all the time AND my house was a mess?

I don't have this down to a science yet and sometimes my house still looks a mess. Oh well. I have my sanity. The point is, I see myself as a priority ALONG with my husband and children.

No Excuses. It really is all a bunch of endless excuses. We want take more time for ourselves, we NEED treat ourselves better but, we use every excuse not to. And that friend who is agreeing with you and telling you, you look like a "great mom" in your raggedy t-shirt and holy yoga pants. STOP LISTENING TO HER.

Now when someone asks me "How do you do it? Business, kids, married, etc. etc." I can say, I don't do everything all at once. Someone is always getting the short end of the stick at my house. I just make sure it isn't ALWAYS me, we rotate the short end around and, I've managed to shower & fix my hair everyday. That is an accomplishment. Life is about progress.

How do you keep yourself a priority? How do make sure you're taking care of you?

How I Stay Motivated

When I first started my business (Lia Naturals Bath & Body) I never thought I would need any help staying motivated. All those motivational quotes that say "Your passion will wake you up" and "I do what I love so it doesn't feel like work" are a bunch of bull-stuff that you kick around. Yeah they sound nice and pretty and maybe they are true for some people but, for the rest of us, some days we just don't love any of this. And guess what? That's perfectly normal.

When you turn your hobby into a business, in some ways the fun aspect is lessened. It goes from doing things because you WANT to, to doing things because you HAVE to. Need to get out a custom order in 3 weeks? No pressure. Sales slacking and you need to pay BILLS? No pressure. The worst part is that I'm my own boss so I could actually quit at any time but, I love what I do. Yes, you can love and hate something at the same time. So much emotional confusion because women.

Zig Ziglar is always on time with the quotes. 

Well, how do I stay motivated? Most people make lists and write down all the things they're grateful for but, I don't have the time or attention span for all of that. 3 kids, husband, house to clean, time to waste, I need a quick fix, like coffee when it comes to motivation. We aren't trying to get out of depression, here.

Here's what works for me:

1. Quotes: I love motivational quotes! I even have a board on Pinterest with inspirational quotes. I am not a fan of the passive aggressive quotes. Typing "Motivational Quotes" in the Pinterest search will give you pages and pages of motivation. Save them to look at for the rough days.
2. Stay Around Positive People: On all of my social media, I try to only "Follow" positive people. I don't mind complaining, I complain too. I just need people in my circle who are excited about a new day! Positivity (so this isn't a word? It should be.) is contagious!
3. Make Friends: I hate the term "networking". People who "network" are annoying. Make friends with other business owners. These are the people who will understand your struggle like no one else. Get to know them, let them in. Find someone you admire and send a "Have a great day! I was just thinking about you" Inbox message. Go make friends!
4. Get To Work: Sometimes this is simply what you need to do. Push all of the problems out and do what you need to do. Just keep going. Write the blog post anyway, even if you feel like no one will read it. Do it. If you don't do anything, you won't get anything and then you will sit there wondering why nothing is working...don't do this.

Here are a few business owners I love to Follow for motivation:

Alex Elle
Myleik Teele
Pamela Jenkins
Zig Ziglar (I know he is old school but, he was a very wise man)
Humans Of New York

There are more, lots more people but, these few will get you started! If you're on Social Media, share some inspiration too! You never know who might need it.

Makeup Skincare Routine- Sensitive Skin

I have always had sensitive skin, so when I started trying to wear makeup, most of the foundations that I tried made my face itch and break out. After, I finally found the perfect foundation (that is test in and of itself isn't it!?) I ran smack into another problem; how do I prevent build up and clogged pores? I saw an increase in blackheads, whiteheads and breakouts (which I hardly ever get) with frequent make up use, no bueno.  I have never been a part of #teambreakouts and  I wasn't about to join now. 

I can't use the face washes in most stores due to my skin being super sensitive (that's a blessing in disguise because chemicals and harsh surfectants) so my usual skincare routine of washing my face in the morning or night with charcoal soap needed a few extra steps. Here's what I did, accompanied by some pics of me looks of so glamorous with various goop on my face. Enjoy! 

  

                                  

                                       Exfoliating my nose area with the Black Soap Sugar Scrub

• Before applying my make-up I prep my face by exfoliating with Lia Naturals Black Soap Sugar Scrub. It is gentle, yet effective at cleansing away any blackheads and creating a clean slate. 

• To wash off the scrub, I use charcoal soap, just a light wash. I use soap to rinse off the scrub because it is a bit thick and using a wash cloth to wipe it off can be a bit abrasive on my skin.  
• After I pat my face dry, I apply a facial oil by Bobeam Cosmetics. 

• To wash off my make up I use Lia Naturals Charcoal soap. I make sure I wash my makeup off every night. 



Face masks make you look crazy, but they work! 

• 2-3x's a week I make a clay face mask to suck out all the extra gunk and oil (I'm sure there is a more professional way to say that but, you get the point). 

My usual DIY clay face mask recipe is a variation of:

Facial mask Recipe:

• 4-5 Tablespoons Bentonite Clay
  1/4 Teaspoon Charcoal Powder/ Cambrian Blue Clay or Moroccan Red Clay
  2-3 Tablespoons Apple Cider Vinegar (if your skin is extremely sensitive, use water)
• After I rinse my mask off, I spritz my face with Rosewater. 

I only follow this skincare routine when I've been wearing makeup all week. This prevents my skin from freaking out. I don't have time to do this on a constant basis #aintnobodygottimeforthat and I don't wear makeup everyday. I like to let my skin breathe. Don't want my husband to forget what I REALLY look like...

What's your skincare routine when you wear makeup?

Some Days Makeup Is Needed And That's Okay

I don't know if YouTube is to blame or not but, I swear to you, I've never seen so many women walk around with full face make up in my entire life. And still there is this shame among moms about wearing makeup. There is a need to prove that you're not insecure (we are at times if we're completely honest) and that you aren't covering up bad skin. Oh, how mommy life humbles us.

Growing up, all of the women I knew wore very little makeup, my mother didn't wear any at all. She still doesn't AND that just proves that I wasn't as hard to raise as she claims.

Thankfully, I've never had any skin problems, minimal pimples (less than 10 my whole life), 1 scar (from a curling iron) and have an even skintone. I swear I'm not bragging, okay maybe a little...let me have this moment. So naturally, I've never seen the need for makeup outside of a little eye shadow and mascara.

UNTIL. CHILDREN.

I swear my children sucked all of the soft dewy skin kissed beauty out of me. I should have kept their placentas, maybe it went in there. None of the "Tired mom" talk prepared me for my "no sleep, hungry, 2 toddler, dehydrated" morning face. It was horrid humbling.

This also fostered my love of Target. Because makeup aisle heaven.

There is healing in under eye concealer, it really does hide a multitude of sleepless nights.

I love this concealer by Maybelline! I got mine from WalGreens. 

I beg encourage you, that if you don't feel pretty or polished, do not feel ashamed to get you some make up. I had (you see that had, right?) a friend who said, in her best fellow mommy disdain voice "You don't need makeup, you're wasting your money." Let me be beautiful, okay?! OKAY. Don't allow anyone to make you feel bad for wanting to look like you live among the land of the living. A fresh bare face is nice, when ya know, you actually look "refreshed", which is never, until your children turn 18.

Me with makeup and an awesome photographer. 

Being the plain Jane that I am though, I do have to have balance. I love neutral- barely there makeup looks and still feel like people should look at me and wonder if I'm wearing makeup, not ask me what kind of makeup I have on. I think of makeup like a nice weave, leave people guessing if it's real.

My makeup collection is small and 75% of it comes from Target, WalMart and Drugstores but, it's more than I ever thought I'd be wearing and I'm finally okay with that. No need to prove anything to anyone, I'm just trying to look like I enjoy life. I'd rather not wear all my struggle under my eyes. So during weeks when I feel it's needed I pull out my makeup bag and surprisingly, I really enjoy it.

Do you wear makeup? Full face or just a little?

5 Ways To Simplify Your Life And Get Rid Of Stress!

There is this secret competition among moms to see which mom is the busiest and most stressed. If you're not stressed, you aren't doing it right...  I'm tired of being stressed, tired and just not satisfied with how my life was going! The worst part is, I was doing everything for everyone else and nothing for myself. When you find yourself taking less and less time to take care of your needs, you need to revamp your life.

Here's how I try to keep my life simple. It helps that I'm an introvert and very relaxed, so at the first sign of stress, I'm already over it and looking for a solution. Being a mom, business owner and wife, things can get really overwhelming really fast.

1. Guilt: Never feel guilty about making yourself a priority. Even if you have to wake up 20 minutes earlier, take time to do something for yourself. You can take a bubble bath, read a book, meditate, exercise or even journal.

2. Keep It Simple: If it is stressing you out, simplify it. I used to stress about the dishes, now I use paper plates during busy weeks, problem solved. Really examine what is stressing you out and find a way to simplify it. Tired or ironing? Throw those clothes in the dryer, the wrinkles will fall out (You're welcome!).

3. Say No!: Learn to say "No.". I have friends who will run themselves ragged trying to help everybody. I handle the people in my house first, if I have time then I help others. You are only one person, stop spreading yourself so thin.

4. Be Positive: Yes the days are long and the work is hard but, if you just think positive, it will help you deal with it. Sometimes, I have to dig deep and say things like "I'm glad I have kids because some women can't." When I have to tell myself that, it's been a ROUGH day. But, it helps because often we need help putting things in perspective. Look at the big picture and keep focused.

5. Don't Think Just Do: I will analyze a situation to death. Well, that does nothing but waste time. If there is work to be done, instead of talking about who is going to do it, either do it yourself or shut up about it.

From the comments: Itiel wrote: "Great tips! I would like to add: You don't have to do it alone. It's great to get children and teens involved with cleaning, sorting, organizing and administrative work. It frees time up for me-time pleasures and they learn life-skills. It's truly a gift for us to understand the needs of women who are wives and moms, to create for their me-time. Great blog posts. Thank you."

I'm not a life coach, this is just what has worked for me. I hope at least one of my tips help you! Let me know in the comments; how do you get rid of stress?

Self Care For Busy Moms- 4 Simple Steps

Being a busy stay at home mom often means that, taking care of yourself becomes less and less of a priority. There is no struggle realer than the "mommy beauty struggle". We know self care is important but, just how can we fit it all in?

P.S. Don't be that mom that tells everyone about your work 100 hrs a week and still manage to stay fly. We don't want to hear it. If you're this person, stop it now.

The saying "death warmed over" describes exactly what I looked like for the first 3  years months after pregnancy. I'm not going to list the endless tasks I had to do daily around the house and how it seemed like I would NEVER get to shower AGAIN! Washing my hair was out of the question. What has time for that?! Makeup? I didn't even know where my makeup bag was, okay? Just know that if this sounds like your life, I understand and I don't judge you at all. I've been there. We all been there but, we can't stay here.

Okay for how do we get out of the new mom fog and get back into the swing of things? How can we be like the rest of civilization and look like we shower everyday? Here's how I did it:

1. Make A List: No, not a to-do list for your house. This list is for you. Write down everything you need want to "fix". Want to get your nails done? Write it down. Hair needs coloring? Get it on paper. Be reasonable and realistic, write down things you can start within the week. Try to keep it around 4-5 things, you don't look that bad. 
2. Budget: How much money can you spend each week on one thing on your beauty list? (Put "Beauty List" in big bold letters at the top of this and stick it to your mirror.) If you can only spend $10 right now, that's okay. That's enough to get your eyebrows done. Start there and save for the more expensive things; do those every 2 weeks or so. Put your $10 aside EVERY week. Hair salon visit cost $35? Start putting money aside for that trip now. 
3. Mutli-task: I know we want to schedule "Mommy Time" and set aside 30 mins. or more as time for just ourselves but, if you can't do that, do what works. Bring your husband and the kids, they can shop, play, walk or wait, not your issue, don't worry about them, go take care of you!
4. Take It Slow: Does your list seem impossible to tackle? Mine did too. Take it one thing at a time. Get your nails done 1 week, hair done the next, start an exercise regimen after that (I never got to this one...one day). Slowly work things into your schedule. Start small, take just 15-30 minutes a week. Don't overwhelm yourself, stress isn't cute! 

Just know you're not alone and you can do it! This is another phase of motherhood and it will only last as long as you let it. Don't feel guilty about taking time for yourself or even spending money on yourself. Instead of buying that box of icecream, put that money aside for your next appointment.

Go make your list!

Do you have any tips on how you got back into a beauty regimen? Share them in the comments!

The Amazing Benefits Of Mango Butter

Many of us have heard about the benefits of shea butter but, I personally love mango butter. The benefits of mango butter extend to both hair and skin care.

What is mango butter? Where does mango butter come from?

Mango butter is commonly referred to as "mango seed butter". Mango butter is extracted from the seed kernel of the mango tree, mainly found in India and other warmer tropical climates.

What are the benefits of mango butter?

• High in fatty acids (higher than shea butter) making it a great emollient and conditioning to both skin and hair. 
• Contains high levels of antioxidants. Antioxidants help with cell regeneration which, keeps your skin from looking dull and slows down signs of aging and wrinkles.
• Absorbs quickly into both skin and hair, making it less "greasy" than shea and cocoa butters.
• Said to help protect skin from UV radiation.

Click on the picture to purchase a jar of Coconut Mango Lotion.

How to add mango butter to your skincare regimen:

1. Use soaps made with mango seed butter. Great soap is the foundation of a great skin care routine. 
2. For the warmer months, use natural lotions that have mango seed butter as one of it's ingredients. These lotions will help keep your skin moisturized without feeling greasy. 
3. In the cooler months whipped butters made with mango seed butter, help lock in moisture and keep skin conditioned. This is crucial during those dry winter months that can be harsh on the skin and hair.
4. You can purchase mango butter from Mountain Rose Herbs as well: https://www.mountainroseherbs.com/catalog/ingredients/butters

Have you tried mango butter? How do you like it?